| “ | This savage water pump was just one of many weapons wielded by the titan dweevil. This pump is capable of spraying jets of hyper-pressurized water! | ” |
—Captain Olimar on the Monster Pump, entry in Olimar's journal |
| “ | You cannot see it. You cannot smell it. Yet this weapon would steal your life, given the chance. At least it USED to, until I shrewdly exchanged its poison gas for hilarious laughing gas. Crafted with an eye for safety, it is the funniest weapon ever devised! | ” |
—The Ship pitching the Comedy Bomb, sales pitches |